The Single Smartest Financial Move My Husband and I Have Ever Made
KEY POINTS
- Life is typically less predictable than we might imagine.
- Living on one salary leaves more money to prepare for the "what ifs."
- The shift from living on two incomes to one can take years, and that's okay.
I grew up in a family that protected me from the realities of finances, so when I married young, I was relatively ignorant of the way banking worked and prone to making poor money decisions. After years of financial highs and lows, my husband and I decided to radically change our spending in order to live on one salary. Here's how we got there.
Being naive doesn't always pay
In my book, anyone who routinely finds the silver lining in challenging situations is impressive. However, I was far too optimistic as a young woman. No matter what mess I got myself into, I assumed that I'd come out the other side unscathed. However, it didn't always work out that way.
For example, my husband and I were in college when we married. We were also working and had two children within four years. I should have been semi-panicked or at least planned for the worst, but I didn't.
I thought we had it made once my husband and I finished college. My husband would land his dream job, and I would stay home with the kids for a while, then work part-time as they grew up. Honestly, I still love that image of domestic bliss.
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It never occurred to me that 43 million American jobs would disappear within the first 18 years of our marriage -- a vast majority of them in my husband's field. I never imagined that we'd have to pull up stakes and move to another state or country so that he could remain employed. And I never realized how much money we would lose each time we sold a house after living there for a year or two.
I wish we'd had a solid emergency fund to handle life's twists and turns. If you're looking for a place to build one, click here for our favorite high-yield savings accounts.
Life juked us
I never did become a stay-at-home mom, at least not for long. For a while, working part-time at a job I loved made me happy and provided us with much-needed extra income. And some years, my husband's industry would pick up steam again, bonuses would be amazing, and we'd believe we were finally in the clear. But then the world would shift, and we'd go right back to worrying.
Something had to give.
We became determined to reconfigure our lives. Rather than work part-time, I went to work full-time. And rather than spend both incomes, we made deep cuts to our budget, eventually allowing us to pay bills on one salary. That way, whenever the economy got a little wonky or one of our industries went into a nosedive, the other could hold things together until we figured out the next step.
It wasn't always pretty, but it was effective
Growing up, neither of us ever saw our parents struggle through a layoff or carefully read the newspaper, trying to gauge which direction the economy was headed. But then, each of our families lived below their means, and copying them was ultimately our best move.
There were times we felt sorry for ourselves, which is embarrassing to admit. Among our friend group, we were the ones who burned the candle at both ends so we could get through college.
We did everything we thought we were "supposed" to do. Still, paying for our education and moving so often left us in a hole our friends never seemed to fall into -- much to their credit.
Things didn't change overnight for us. Each new decision was rooted in our goal of living on a single income.
We rewrote our script
Here's how we began to move our finances in a different direction:
- We developed a budget that would act as our GPS, continually showing us how far away we were from our goal.
- We paid off debt, beginning with high-interest credit cards. I'm not going to lie; this was the hardest step for me. Once we started the debt avalanche plan, it felt like it would take forever to pay off everything.
- We never wanted to feel house-poor again, so we purchased a home that was inexpensive enough for one of us to cover the mortgage if the other became ill or lost their job.
- I stopped shopping for clothes at my favorite store and have embraced less-expensive brands.
- We've vowed to keep our vehicles until the wheels fall off rather than trade them for something fancier, no matter how well things seem to be going.
- We began eating at home more. I'm still a relatively horrible cook, but we've learned to enjoy a sandwich or salad for dinner.
The most important thing we did was to (miraculously) remain on the same page. Back when our lives felt stuck in either feast or famine mode, it was easier to argue about money because we never knew what to expect. It's not as though we can now predict the future, but we're doing what we can to be prepared.
We've found freedom in not worrying about whether bills will get paid or trying to keep up with other people's success. And as a bonus, living below our means has resulted in having more money to invest for retirement, which has removed another stressor from our lives.
In truth, I have not enjoyed cutting our budget just to plan for what "might happen." However, each time we have something to show for it -- like another debt getting paid off -- I know we've done the right thing. Our approach might not be the right one for everyone, but it seems to work for us.
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